Today's mixed messages from HSBC

Just got this letter from HSBC this morning, so I thought I'd have some fun with it.

Subject:	We've got you covered Well, yes, that's one way of putting it.
Date:	15 Dec 2013
Message:	We understand how busy things can be at this time of year. So we thought we'd remind you of a couple of ways you can keep in touch with your HSBC accounts whenever it suits you. Really? OK: it suits me to keep in touch with my HSBC accounts after 20 January when you are going to close them. Our friendly Telephone Banking team are available on 08457 404 404* to help with a range of requests - from bill payments and transfers, to general questions - between 8am and 10pm every day, except for Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Day. That's nice, but the range of questions your friendly team are prepared to answer doesn't include why you are going to close my accounts without explanation. We also have a 24-hour automated helpline, which is available throughout the festive period, so you can make transfers, pay bills and check your account whenever you like. Set up your details today by calling 08457 400 004*. Why would I set up the details today when you're going to close my accounts in 33 days time? Best wishes for the festive season, from all at HSBC Errr, let me get this right, HSBC is sending me best wishes? How confusing is that?!